Neil Gaiman, the British fantasy author, is facing accusations of sexual assault by multiple women spanning nearly four decades. Gaiman‘s ex-wife, Amanda Palmer, a singer and performance artist, is also in the spotlight, as some of the women reportedly met the author through her.
Who is Amanda Palmer?
Amanda Palmer is a singer, songwriter, and performance artist best known as the lead vocalist and lyricist of the punk cabaret duo The Dresden Dolls.
Marriage and divorce
Palmer was married to Neil Gaiman for 11 years, with their divorce finalized in 2022. From the beginning, the couple’s marriage stood out as unconventional. They openly talked about their open marriage, a subject that garnered both praise and critique. Gaiman and Palmer frequently shared their struggles in managing the demands of their creative careers alongside marriage and parenting responsibilities.
The couple shares one child, Anthony “Ash” Palmer Gaiman, born in 2015. According to Palmer’s website, she and her son split their time between New York City, Woodstock, and Boston, Massachusetts.
Why did Gaiman and Palmer separate?
Gaiman and Palmer were known for openly discussing their unconventional marriage and its challenges, particularly balancing their creative careers with marriage and parenting. When Palmer became pregnant with their son, they decided to transition to a monogamous relationship, according to Newsweek.
As per New York Magazine, Palmer’s friends claim she sought a divorce after discovering Gaiman was still “having sexual contact” with a woman referred to as Rachel, despite Palmer believing the relationship had ended.
The marriage reportedly deteriorated further as Palmer learned about other women, some of whom later described their experiences with Gaiman as nonconsensual.
Palmer allegedly confided in a woman named Caroline, expressing distress about her husband’s behavior. She reportedly said: “You have no idea the twisted, dark things that go on in that man’s head.”
In November 2022, Gaiman and Palmer announced their divorce, calling it a “difficult decision.” They stressed their commitment to co-parenting their son in a “loving and compassionate environment.”
Was Amanda Palmer aware of the alleged assaults?
One woman, Pavlovich, claimed she informed Palmer about Gaiman’s behavior in March 2022, according to Newsweek. She described an incident in vague terms, saying, “I didn’t have any choice in the matter. He just did it,” though she didn’t initially define it as sexual assault.
According to Pavlovich, Palmer was not surprised and allegedly responded: “14 women have come to me about this.” Palmer reportedly mentioned hearing from other women who were disturbed by their experiences with Gaiman and referenced an incident involving a babysitter during Gaiman’s first marriage, according to New York Magazine.
Pavlovich later filed a police report in New Zealand and was told that Palmer’s cooperation would be essential for the investigation. However, Palmer declined to assist the police, as per the magazine.
Rachel, another woman, claimed she had sex with Palmer after a Dresden Dolls concert. Palmer reportedly sent semi-nude photos of Rachel to Gaiman and introduced the two a few months later.
While Rachel said there was no “blatant rupture of consent” with Gaiman, she alleged that he pressured her into acts that were painful and made her uncomfortable. Reflecting on her experiences, Rachel suggested that Palmer had treated her like “a toy” for Gaiman.
Gaiman’s response
Representatives for Gaiman told the Tortoise podcast: “Sexual degradation, bondage, domination, sadism, and masochism may not be to everyone’s taste, but between consenting adults, BDSM is lawful.”
